Alan & Melissa
Alan & Melissa
Our love story as a married couple started with a bang.
Actually, it was a loud siren. At 2 AM on the first night of our honeymoon, the hotel fire alarm went off.
If standing out in the November cold with hundreds of strangers in the middle of a parking lot in Canada (in our pajamas!) was an unfortunate start to married life, it got worse later that day.
After finally arriving at our destination in downtown Toronto, we were caught in a downpour two miles from our hotel. When we reached the lobby looking like drowned rats, Alan suddenly had a massive nosebleed in front of all the guests and hotel staff.
Humiliated but undaunted, we finally made it to our room – where, like the scene out of Home Alone 2, a bellhop stood at our door for an awkwardly long period of time. Unlike Kevin from Home Alone, we did not tip him with a piece of chewing gum.
Our marriage has been a lot like the honeymoon: full of beautiful ups and downs, laughs and challenges.
Most importantly, we have never fallen out of “the honeymoon stage.” We are really and truly each other’s best friend.
Our Story
We met in college through mutual friends. The night we met, Melissa told her friend that she was going to marry Alan someday. Alan recognized there was something special about Melissa, but it took him another year to realize what she knew that first night. After five years of dating across three schools and two states, we tied the knot. We love Michigan and have spent our entire married life here in our home state.
So many of the reasons we fell in love are what sustain our marriage today. We complement each other in wonderful and sometimes comical ways.
Melissa is outgoing, creative, bubbly, and makes friends easily. Alan is a little shy, analytical but witty, kind, and will help out anyone when they need it.
Our home has always been full of love (much of it doting on our amazing dogs). Early in our marriage, we talked about our wish to someday adopt a child. We hope that this is a chapter of our lives in which we can fulfill that wish.
Our Relaxation & Fun
For us, fun is adventure. We both love to travel and see new places whether they’re close to home or across the globe.
One of the places we love to go to together is the Disney parks in Florida and California. Disney is one of our truly happy, magical places where we can cast aside our cares, and be kids at heart. We also love participating in the Run Disney races and introducing others to the park.
Besides travel, we have many hobbies and separate interests. We are an active couple and enjoy being outdoors with our two dogs, Quincy (border collie) and Arthur (golden retriever). Together, we like to explore new places and go walking and snowshoeing with our dogs.
We are also very blessed to have quiet getaways on both sides of our family, where we can unplug and enjoy the outdoors. Alan’s family owns a cabin in Northern Michigan, and Melissa’s owns a small cottage on Lake Superior, where she spent many happy childhood days.
Melissa has a lot of passions and loves to read, write, and crochet. She also enjoys running and Peloton cycling and plays the French horn.
Alan has a passion for sports (baseball, soccer, cricket), reading (history and religion), and running (where he has run 9 marathons). A favorite summertime tradition is taking our golden retriever Arthur to the local minor league club’s “Bark In The Park” night for some daddy-doggy bonding time.
He has also recently taken up playing the drums, about 20 years after he should have. Along with the drum set, he bought Melissa a pair of noise-canceling headphones, which she has been very appreciative of.
our adoption hopes
Gender: Any Gender, including an Ambiguous or Transitioning Gender Child
Ethnicities: Any Race and Ethnicity
Age: Newborn to 2 Years Old
Total of: 1 to 2 Children or 2 Siblings
a snapshot
of us
We Live In: Bay City Metropolitan Area
Our Faith: Christian
Pets: Both Cat(s) and Dog(s)
Kids Already: No Children Now
Child Care Plan: Family Member Child Care Stay-at-Home Parent
Our Family & Friends
Alan has a tight-knit family. His parents have been married for over 40 years and his entire extended family (including a sister, brother, nieces, and nephews) still lives near his hometown (Traverse City area).
Melissa also has a good relationship with her family. Her parents live less than an hour away from our home, while her sister lives in the Upper Peninsula and her brother lives in Colorado. She grew up around many cousins, who became more like siblings. One of these cousins is Melissa’s best friend. They are the same age and spent almost every day together until they graduated from college.
Our nieces and nephews are an important part of our lives, and we love spending holidays with them, playing games with them, seeing their dance recitals, soccer games, and church events, and also spoiling them from time to time. Ranging in age from 0 to 12, it has been a joy for us to watch them grow, and we know they would be so excited to welcome a new cousin to the fold.
Our circle of friends is relatively small but very close, and includes loved ones from Bay City to Grand Rapids, and Seattle to London. Our closest friends accompany us on many of our adventures, and are really more like family. All are extremely excited by this opportunity for us to welcome home a new family member.
Our Home & Neighborhood
We live near Bay City and Midland and are a 10-minute drive from Lake Huron. We have come to love the area because it has a little bit of everything: parks, wildlife areas, lakeshore, good schools and colleges, fine arts, and all the nearby conveniences of a metropolitan area with a population of almost 400,000.
Our home is situated on a rural road, with a couple of close neighbors, lots of horizon to admire, and many beautiful sunsets. We love our 360-degree view of the changing seasons. In the summer months we can see fireworks shows from miles around, all from our front yard. Our home is a ranch-style house with a yard that’s large enough to run our two dogs, Quincy and Arthur (and they love it).
Education
We both grew up surrounded by books, and that spirit of learning has never left us. We want to surround our child with opportunities to be curious, to explore, and to find their passion.
We were fortunate enough to be the first members of our immediate families to earn bachelor’s and master’s degrees. Nevertheless, we believe curiosity and a lifelong love of learning is more important than any credential. We would encourage and honor whatever our child wanted to pursue, whether it be higher education, the arts, or a trade.
For 16 years, Melissa has taught writing part-time at colleges and universities across the state of Michigan. She primarily teaches developmental writing and has shared her love of English and creative writing with hundreds of students.
Alan is very much the left-brained part of the marriage and has always enjoyed helping people understand math and science. We both believe creativity is vitally important to any well-rounded education.
We are fortunate to live in an area with several excellent private and public schools. Finding the school that cultivates a love of learning and gives our child every opportunity to succeed and flourish is a top priority for us.
Correction & Discipline
We recognize discipline is necessary for establishing and maintaining the structure and environment that a child needs for a balanced, successful, and happy life. The only objective of discipline is to ensure the safety of the child (and others) and to help them to learn: learn social boundaries, learn how to be considerate of others, and learn how to process their own feelings.
We do not believe in using physical discipline, as we do not believe it ensures the safety of the child or help them learn.
Our Faith Views
We seek to live each day with goodwill and gratitude. Our Christian faith is central to this. Faith is a free gift from God and we would of course share this gift with our son or daughter.
We are very grateful to belong to a church family that supports people in their times of need or sorrow, and shares in their times of joy. Alan is a member of the church vestry and edits the weekly newsletter.
Through the years, we have also been chosen as godparents to nine family members and loved ones, so we are already part of a large “godfamily!” The responsibility of providing spiritual support to our godchildren is one that we have been honored to accept.
While faith in Christ is foundational to our lives, we have friends and family from many faith traditions (and some with none at all). Demonstrating love for (and understanding of) those with differing beliefs is an important virtue that we would instill in our child.
Alan's Career
I am a licensed Professional Engineer and have worked for 15 years in the energy and gas industry. I currently hold a director-level position and lead a team responsible for helping to ensure we provide our customers safe and reliable energy, and that our front-line employees go home safe at the end of the day.
I love learning, problem-solving, working with others, and mentoring and coaching. I’m grateful to serve the people of Michigan and to work at a company that does not require me to travel out of state. Being close to home is important to both of us.
I have also volunteered with DAPCEP (Detroit Area Pre-College Engineering Program), helping 7th and 8th-grade students learn about engineering.
My employer offers generous benefits in terms of paid vacation and paternity leave, which I will gladly use to help ease the adoption transition and spend time with our son or daughter.
Melissa's Career
I am a marketing copywriter for a well-known public figure. My company’s mission is to change lives and help others reach their full potential through personal development.
I love what I do and am grateful to be part of a team that strives to make a difference and help others. Giving back is my passion, so this is truly my dream job! Occasionally, I teach writing courses at a local college.
I am also a volunteer at our local Habitat for Humanity chapter on the marketing committee and am in the process of joining their Board of Directors. I also donate blankets to Project Linus – a nonprofit that donates handmade blankets to children experiencing trauma and hardship.
My job is remote 100% of the time. I am able to set my own schedule on most days.
Because of this flexibility, I’ll continue working from home when our child arrives. However, I plan on taking time off for maternity leave. My parents live nearby and are beyond excited to help out. If we were matched, this would be their first grandchild.
Alan
I grew up near beautiful Traverse City to a family with deep Michigan roots. My parents and siblings still live in the area and I am very close to them. My family life growing up was filled with music, sports, camping, and holiday traditions.
Sundays were for church as well as countless Lions defeats (builds character). Melissa and I are blessed to have two nephews and two nieces on my side of the family, all under the age of 12. My ancestry is primarily English, French Canadian, and German.
Melissa
My childhood was spent in the Upper Peninsula. I spent a lot of time in nature exploring the woods, fishing, biking, and swimming in Lake Superior at “The Camp” (our family cottage). Grandparents, aunts, and uncles were ever-present in my life. I grew up with cousins who were as close to me as my own siblings. I am also close to my brother and sister.
Although my parents have since moved downstate to be closer to us, the U.P. is still a big part of my identity. “The Camp” remains my favorite place to unplug, to reminisce, and take in the rustic serenity and power of Lake Superior.
My ancestry is primarily Finnish, Italian, and French Canadian.
We are so humbled that you’ve taken the time to get to know a little about us through this profile. We’d love to know more about you too. It’s exciting to think it could be the start of an extraordinary, lifelong connection.
If you allow us the opportunity, we promise to honor and magnify the love that you already clearly have for your child, to supplement that love with our whole hearts, and to give your child the happiest, most inspiring, and most enriching life that we possibly can.
We would be honored and elated to pour our hearts and souls into that lifelong commitment, just as we have over 15 years of marriage. And we would be so grateful for you to be a part of that journey.
- Child Separation, Attachment, and Bonding
- Child Development, Including Safe Sleep Practices for Children
- Behavioral and Emotional Needs of Adoptive Children
- Impact of Adoption on the Family
Without you, the child we hope to adopt would not exist. You are deserving and worthy of our respect, love, and admiration. As far as is feasible (and acceptable to you), we would like to extend that loving relationship throughout the child’s life. For you to ask us to be adoptive parents to your child is a profound gift, and we understand that maintaining and nurturing that bond is very beneficial to the child as well as yourself.
Ideally, we would like to meet up with you (in person) after placement every 2-3 months, in addition to more frequent contact with you over text, email, phone, and/or FaceTime. We would love for you to accompany us on a family trip (to a Disney park, ballgame, sightseeing, etc.) once every couple of years. We’d also very much appreciate if you were there with us at the child’s big life events – baptism, graduation, etc.
There is no expectation that you must be our best friend after placement (although that would be wonderful too!), but we would treasure a level of openness and familiarity that would help the child know that they are loved by their birth mother and that adoption was chosen as an expression of that love.
OUR COMFORT LEVEL WITH DIFFERENT ADOPTION OPTIONS
- Very Comfortable
- Mostly Comfortable
- Unsure
- A Bit Uneasy
- Not Comfortable
Without you, the child we hope to adopt would not exist. You are deserving and worthy of our respect, love, and admiration. As far as is feasible (and acceptable to you), we would like to extend that loving relationship throughout the child’s life. For you to ask us to be adoptive parents to your child is a profound gift, and we understand that maintaining and nurturing that bond is very beneficial to the child as well as yourself.
Ideally, we would like to meet up with you (in person) after placement every 2-3 months, in addition to more frequent contact with you over text, email, phone, and/or FaceTime. We would love for you to accompany us on a family trip (to a Disney park, ballgame, sightseeing, etc.) once every couple of years. We’d also very much appreciate if you were there with us at the child’s big life events – baptism, graduation, etc.
There is no expectation that you must be our best friend after placement (although that would be wonderful too!), but we would treasure a level of openness and familiarity that would help the child know that they are loved by their birth mother and that adoption was chosen as an expression of that love.
Just one more thing...Without you, the child we hope to adopt would not exist. You are deserving and worthy of our respect, love, and admiration. As far as is feasible (and acceptable to you), we would like to extend that loving relationship throughout the child’s life. For you to ask us to be adoptive parents to your child is a profound gift, and we understand that maintaining and nurturing that bond is very beneficial to the child as well as yourself.
Ideally, we would like to meet up with you (in person) after placement every 2-3 months, in addition to more frequent contact with you over text, email, phone, and/or FaceTime. We would love for you to accompany us on a family trip (to a Disney park, ballgame, sightseeing, etc.) once every couple of years. We’d also very much appreciate if you were there with us at the child’s big life events – baptism, graduation, etc.
There is no expectation that you must be our best friend after placement (although that would be wonderful too!), but we would treasure a level of openness and familiarity that would help the child know that they are loved by their birth mother and that adoption was chosen as an expression of that love.