Both Rebecca and I are people who can be a bit competitive, but always in a friendly way. I distinctly remember a time she and I were disagreeing about how an event had played out in a game I was playing. We went back and forth and provided our cases for it, and eventually Rebecca had to turn in for the night. Not being 100% certain myself, I decided to load up the game from an earlier point in time, and found out that she was in fact correct.
When she got up for work the next day, I made sure it was the first thing I told her: “You were right!” I wanted to make sure she got to greet her day with the giddy ‘I told you so’ energy, and honestly, I’m glad it happened this way, because I find more joy in seeing her be happy than I’d have had in being correct myself.
Another example of this, is when we first started dating, Mark brought over a deckbuilding game for us to play together called Ascension. Mark won, by a large margin. Rebecca ended up purchasing the digital version of the game so when they played next, she would be a more worthy opponent. Rebecca and Mark wrote their own wedding vows but kept them secret from each other until the day of.
They had a close friend review them both to ensure they were similar in length and tone. On the day of their mini backyard wedding, they actually both wrote about the same story in their vows! The story in question was about when they knew they found their life partner. Mark let himself into Rebecca’s apartment after a long day to do the dishes as a surprise. Their friend kept it a surprise, and it made the ceremony extra special
Have you ever seen a couple whose relationship started with ‘thanks, but no thanks.’? Because that was largely how this one began. Mark had listed he was “not interested” in kids on okcupid, because he didn’t want to have any biological children, and Rebecca had been planning on adoption since childhood. Unbeknownst to both of us, we felt the same about kids through adoption.
We got along well and would commiserate about bad online dating experiences but really enjoyed one another’s company. After this miscommunication was cleared up, the rest was history. In the era of online dating, we managed to meet on a dating site and become friends before we started dating one another.
Knowing we’re not only one another’s spouse, but close confidant, and best friend, we have a bond and foundation to our relationship that is deeply respectful, strong, and warm. We know the value of trust and taking time to make sure that everything happens with both of us on board. Something that we both place a lot of importance on is how we can take care of one another.
If that’s taking some time to run some pajamas through the dryer to make sure they’ve got something warm to wear on a cold day, or surprising the other with a favorite meal after a tough week, we place a lot of importance on caring for one another’s heart and emotional well being.
For fun and relaxation, we are a couple that likes to nurture creativity. Rebecca loves to do arts and crafts, be it painted canvases, painted stones, clay sculptures, lego kits, or even bead kits. We’ve even made homemade Christmas ornaments with shrinky dink kits.
Mark is quiet and likes to read or play games with Rebecca and their friends. He loves board games, video games, and anything that lets him connect with people and learn a new puzzle. We play games together and love to share our hobbies and skills with one another, with teaching and learning both being fun experience.
Rebecca is a skilled chef, and teaching Mark to cook has been quite an adventure. We have three lovely cats that are curious and gentle and love to be around people.
Gender: Any Gender, including an Ambiguous or Transitioning Gender Child
Ethnicities: Any Race and Ethnicity
Age: Newborn to 3 Months
Total of: 1 Child
We Live In: Grand Rapids Area
Our Faith: Open to All Religions
Pets: Cat(s)
Kids Already: No Children Now
Child Care Plan: Family Member Child Care Â
Since the start of their relationship, many of our friends and family connections have merged. We are so thankful that both sides of the family get along and have similar values and ideologies. It has been wonderful lately to host large inclusive family gatherings for the holidays with both sides. Our family relationships are very strong.
Mark’s parents live in Holland, and they are very close and visit together often. Mark is also still close with his two siblings, who are always ready with a story and a smile. Mark’s friends are scattered about the state of Michigan, and they frequently meet up together online to play games with one another. For Rebecca, her parents and brother live together in the Chicago area, while she has extended family in California.
Physical visits with family are not as common (about 6 times a year for family in Chicago, annual for California), so we primarily connect remotely (multiple times a week). Rebecca’s friends are a bit more scattered throughout the state and the U.S. (Wisconsin, Washington, Illinois, California) whom she visits annually and keeps digital contact with. Rebecca has some friends that live locally that she sees more frequently to grab a bite to eat and share some good conversation.
Our home is situated in Grandville and close to many fun locations, such as the Grandville Mall, a YMCA with an aquatic center, several public parks, and plenty of indoor playgrounds. We have a spacious front and back yard, and our home is situated in a cul-de-sac that will have plenty of room for riding bikes and playing with neighborhood kids.
Our backyard backs up to a gentle creek giving us an awesome view. While you can almost always see ducks in the creek, it is a special treat when two Swans come to stay on the creek over the winter. We are in a wonderful school district and plan on staying right here in West Michigan. It’s a wonderful place to live and a place that will provide ample opportunities for young folks as they grow up.
Education is something that is very important to our families. Mark’s father is a retired teacher and guidance counselor, and both our mothers work with kids in schools, and we both obtained bachelor’s degrees. We both feel that education is something that is very personal to an individual and there’s no one sort of intelligence, and whatever a child wants to pursue is something that we would nurture and encourage.
Rebecca’s father is a great example of this. While he did not attend college, he’s the most skilled person Mark and Rebecca know, with mastery of several trades, and always happy to wield his sharp wit and clever strategies in board games. Learning is the way that people go through the world and develop, and learning can happen anywhere, not just in the classroom or in a book.
Learning is something that has opportunities presented every day, and the best way to learn is to be engaged and involved. Many of the smartest people Rebecca and Mark know did not receive higher education. Both of us value continuing education (both formal and informal), and both strive to learn something new every day.
Discipline is something that every parent must contend with, but we both understand that the purpose of discipline is not to punish, but to redirect. As a child, Mark’s parents would encourage him to play outside with his siblings when they were being too rowdy, with the form of “you can’t do anything that uses electricity.” as a punishment.
Young boys with too much energy playing video games are going to naturally get rowdy, so giving them the choice of how to spend that energy often made the discipline feel like it was their idea in the first place. For Rebecca, the idea of correlated consequences helped her understand the impact of her actions and how she fits into the world.
Littering at a beach having the discipline of working together with her parents to clean up the beach is a lesson she still remembers to this day. The style of discipline we plan to use is one where the kid retains a level of agency, as well as learns how their actions can affect others and can see how they can affect the world in both positive and negative ways.
This plan for discipline, when needed, should make sure the kid feels empowered but also have each experience be one that they learn from. Discipline should never be about punishment, it’s about learning.
As a couple we are not religious folks. Rebecca was not raised with religion and Mark was raised Christian. When Rebecca hit middle school, she took an interest in learning more about religion. Rebecca really enjoyed being provided freedom and encouragement to learn about Christianity and even take some world religion classes in high school.
Mark and Rebecca have drifted away from organized religion and instead choose to spend our time focusing on making the world we’re in as good as it can be. Religion still has a place in our lives, as Mark’s parents are religious, and his uncle is the CEO of the Michigan Roundtable for Diversity. We are open to all religions and always curious to listen and learn, as that is a great way to find common ground with other people.
I have a knack for finding a place for everything and making sure everything’s in it’s place. I notice when there are problems and edge cases and love solving problems with creative thinking. I like using my analytical mind to find problems before they crop up and being able to make things easier for other people.
My parents live nearby and are very eager to provide childcare for us during the working hours of the day. We will be able to save money on traditional childcare this way and allow these funds to be used to provide enriching experience with family instead of a daycare where individual attention might not be something that can be obtained. As retired educators they know the importance of that direct, focused play and how learning and fun can be combined.
I work at a local family owned appliance store. I work with and for exceptionally kind and dedicated people. I love being able to make a difference in the lives of my team! My goal when I onboard a new employee is for everyone to be in a better position than where they started. I enjoy helping my team members grow and improve, even if it means they grow out of their position with me.
I have had multiple team members be promoted from within which is especially satisfying to me. For those that stay with me long term, growth can look like improving communication, strengthening relationships, making processes more efficient, increasing their sales or gaining product knowledge. As I have been with the company for over 7 years, I also really enjoy being able to assist my peers on the management team.
I enjoy being able to provide advice on handling difficult situations or guide them to the resources they have available to them.
I plan to continue to work full time at my job. We are extremely fortunate, as Mark’s parents are excited to provide in home childcare for us while we work. This will allow the child to have more individualized attention.
This is also allowing us to set aside the funds we would have needed for daycare to use for enriching experiences for the child that will help with their growth and development. One example of this, is we plan on getting a Love Every subscription for our child that provides toys and activity guides every quarter that are designed to assist with the child’s stage appropriate brain development through play.
My family is a group of long time Michigan folks who love both the quiet moments at home and the warm bustle of the beach. Frequent holiday get-togethers in the summer and the traditional holiday season. These events are always marked by warm food and warmer smiles. We’re a group of modest folk who have a long history of making their way through teaching and service.
My parents are DIYers who always have a project to work on together, something that they love to share with others. They jumped at the opportunity to help paint some of the rooms in our new home! My mom, Beth, is one of the warmest, most caring people I know. She’s a great cook and a better listener. She’s also someone who’s not afraid to go off recipe and make something catering to the tastes of the people she’s with.
Her thanksgiving stuffing recipe is something that has won over even those who can’t stand the stuff normally. My dad, Phil, is a guy who knows how to draw people in with a story and always happy to spin a yarn around a campfire. He loves to play with ideas and he and I have spent many hours pondering theoreticals and engaging in banter with one another. I have two siblings, John and Dan.
John is able to enchant a room and make everyone laugh, and always able to make people feel included. He’s passionate and a great orator. We even had him perform our wedding ceremony! Dan is a deeply caring person, taking care of a small squad of dogs and living happily with his wife here in West Michigan. I grew up with my siblings as my best friends and I loved that we never felt lonely at home.
My family lives in the Chicago suburbs, where I was raised. We have a mix of Irish, English, German and French Canadian heritage. My family, while not physically close, is close through continual communication, and frequent visits. My mom, Kate works with kindergarteners at an after school program and love to hear their wild stories, and plan engaging crafts for them.
My dad, Mike is knowledgeable in almost everything house related. He is a great guy to have in your corner and is always willing to help us with projects around the house, big and small. My younger brother Nick works as a baseball writer and is always making others laugh. We have always been a family who enjoys traditions. A great example of this is my family’s annual trips to a small family owned vacation resort in Wisconsin.
We have gone every year since 1965 (other than the year they were closed for the pandemic)! I come from a family of creatives, though it is not a career for any of us, we enjoy crafting and bonding through creating art when we get together. One example of this is rock painting. We will paint rocks to post on my hometown’s Facebook group and hide or drop them off at my local mini free art gallery.
We also frequently play board games and card games when we are together. We are a family that can find humor and enjoyment in everyday things. I have a distinct memory of a large gathering we were a part of where some of the group was playing Cards Against Humanity, and we were having more fun in the dining room playing with the napkin rings.
Hello, person I’ve yet to meet.
I want to start by saying that no matter how hard things are right now, it will be okay. You will find someone who will be a perfect match for you, and will want the same level of contact that you do, running the full spectrum from regular contacts and deeply involved, or infrequent checkups and occasional touches. If that ends up being us, or someone else, that’s okay. The important thing is that you will find what’s right for you, and it will be okay.
That being said, hello! I’m glad to say hi and tell you a bit about us. We’re a quiet and caring couple who value trust, honesty, kindness, understanding, and thoughtfulness. We enjoy spending time with one another and enjoy a space together where we can allow for family and friends to relax and share laughter together. We may not be a daring or exciting couple; you’ll never see us skydiving or going on spur of the moment vacations to Europe, we are steady and reliable and consistent. We have a lot of love to give and share and we find the richest parts of life are those when you can smile with friends.
I hope that the journey you take is one where there’s more laughter than tears, and just by the fact that you’re reading this, I know that whoever you end up taking it with will have a richer life for your time with them.
We would love to have a close relationship with you. We want our child to know the best parts of you from witnessing them themselves, not just stories we share with them about where they came from. We believe that no child can have too many advocates and people caring for them. We hope to keep as many of your family and friends in this child’s life as possible to build the largest village possible for our child. We have been so fortunate to be able to blend our families and we would love to include yours as well.
We would love to have a close relationship with you. We want our child to know the best parts of you from witnessing them themselves, not just stories we share with them about where they came from. We believe that no child can have too many advocates and people caring for them. We hope to keep as many of your family and friends in this child’s life as possible to build the largest village possible for our child. We have been so fortunate to be able to blend our families and we would love to include yours as well.
Just one more thing...We would love to have a close relationship with you. We want our child to know the best parts of you from witnessing them themselves, not just stories we share with them about where they came from. We believe that no child can have too many advocates and people caring for them. We hope to keep as many of your family and friends in this child’s life as possible to build the largest village possible for our child. We have been so fortunate to be able to blend our families and we would love to include yours as well.
